Karoke
by TigerEyes1
Summary: R just in case, title says everything


A/n: Short, weird, funny, and cute... No flames please!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the songs or the characters.   
  
(Hi, I'm Ashlie, the authors Stepsister. I might be adding bits of conversation to liven up this crazy fanfic, so, just so you know, when I write something, it will look like this: (Ash: ) Okay? Okay.)  
  
Karaoke  
  
"So where to?" Harry asked.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione where walking down the street of Hogsmead. " I dunno, after a while Hogsmead gets dull." Ron droned. And for the first time in Hermione's 6th year she actually agreed with Ron.   
  
"Wait! Look!" Harry pointed to a poster that said,' Karaoke Night At Three Broomsticks'  
  
"That looks fun!"  
  
"I guess.. Since there's nothing else to do."Hermione looked up at the sky. Why do I have such a bad feeling about this? Harry, Ron, and Hermione went into the pub in silence and sat down at the nearest table. Ron looked around. "Well they certainly out did themselves, they put up a stage, decorations, everything." Ron was right, the pub looked beautiful! It looked like a school dance than anything else. "Excuse me, would you like anything? The karaoke doesn't start till seven." said Madam Roseamare (did I spell that right? (Ash: Who cares? I hate when people ask for spell-checks in the middle of a fanfic, it bugs the hell outta me..)  
  
"Yes. We'll have 3 butterbeers." Harry said  
  
"Is that all?"   
  
"Yep."  
  
"Ok, I'll be back in a second." More and more people from Hogwarts were coming into the small bar. Including students and teachers.  
  
" Well here you are boys." Said Madam Roseamare, returning with their drinks. Hermione gave her an evil glare.  
  
" And girl." she add hastily. "Well, cheers" said Ron. "Cheers!" They said in unison. They all took a swig, before 5 seconds they all spit it out.  
  
"Oh my God, what is this?" Harry choked.  
  
"I think its beer!" Hermione squealed.  
  
Ron's eyes bulged. "BEER???? COOL!" Ron jugged it down.  
  
"Ron don't do that you'll get sick!"  
  
"Wicked! I feel so dizzy!" Ron fell out of his chair.  
  
"Cool let me try!" Harry said as he pulled Ron back to his seat.  
  
"No don't!"  
  
"Oh come on Hermione it's cool! Just have a sip." Hermione frowned but finally gave in. She'll just have 'one' sip. More and more people came into the pub. And they all seemed to get drunker and drunker. Why is everyone getting so wasted? Harry thought.  
  
But he was to drunk himself to even care. Then suddenly a voice boomed in the speakers. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the karaoke is about to began. If you would like to perform in the karaoke tonight please just sign-up at the bar." All of the pupils went to the bar including Ron, Harry, and Hermione.  
  
"Hey Hermione, I'm going to go and get some Jell-O shots, want a couple?"  
  
Hermione tripped on someone's foot. "Yea..." she mumbled as she lifted herself up. Pretty soon a man walked out onto the stage. "Ok, first on up is Ginny Weasley singing 'I want you to want me.' Ginny climbed onto the stage with much effort. Then she began to sing. I want you to want me.  
  
I need you to need me.  
  
I'd love you to love me.  
  
I'm beggin' you to beg me. To Hermione and Ron it seemed she was singing to Harry.  
  
I want you to want me.  
  
I need you to need me.  
  
I'd love you to love me.  
  
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.  
  
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me. No, she was practically screaming.  
  
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
I want you to want me.  
  
I need you to need me.  
  
I'd love you to love me.  
  
I'm beggin' you to beg me.  
  
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.  
  
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me. She was now off the stage and standing right in front of Harry. But Harry didn't seem to notice.  
  
Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
  
I want you to want me.  
  
I need you to need me.  
  
I'd love you to love me.  
  
I'm beggin' you to beg me.  
  
I want you to want me.  
  
I want you to want me.  
  
I want you to want me.  
  
I want you to want me. But still Harry didn't notice.....He should of have. "WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?!?! EVER SINCE MY FIRST YEAR!" And that's when she kicked him where the 'Sun Don't Shine' "OH MY NUTS!" He groaned and then fell to the ground in a passed out heap on the floor. Someone that worked at the bar came and picked up Harry's unconscious body from the ground, and dumped it outside. Ron and Hermione were to doped up to care. Besides, Ron was getting ready to he, he didn't have time to think about Harry. He actually didn't want to think at all. His head hurt. "Okay then. Coming up next is Ron Weasley!" Ron got up on the stage and began singing a song by P.O.D. "I, I feel so Alive..LALALALA...something something..........." The audience stared at him and he stared back.....  
  
"I LOVE BEER!!!!!  
  
The crowd was silent for a moment but soon burst into cheers and applauds. Ron then passed out. The speaker dude came up on the stage and kicked him off. "Next up is Parvati, Lavender, Seamus and Dean Thomas in Baby Got Back!"  
  
Parvati and Lavender started talking,  
  
"Oh my God Becky, look at her butt  
  
It's so big  
  
She looks like one of Victor Krum's girlfriends.  
  
Hermione: HEY!  
  
Who understands those Quidditch guys?  
  
He only talks to her because she looks like a total prostitute  
  
I mean her butt  
  
It's just so big  
  
I can't believe it's so round  
  
It's just out there  
  
I mean it's gross  
  
Look, she's just so ugly.  
  
::Hermione jumps on stage and beats the shit out of the girls::  
  
Then Dean and Seamus started raping  
  
I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung Wanna pull up tough Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna get with ya And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got Make Me so horney Ooh, rump of smooth skin You say you wanna get in my benz Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy  
  
I've seen them dancin' The hell with romancin' She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette  
  
I'm tired of magazines Saying flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back  
  
So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah) Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah) Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back  
  
The annoier looked stunned.  
  
"That has to be the most sanest songs all night!" He exclaimed  
  
Then Lavender and Parvati even with their black eyes and bloody noses flashed the crowed.  
  
"Or not." "Next is Draco Malfoy singing the Spice girls!" The crowed booed and hissed. "Oh my God! The Spice Girls are SO 5 minutes ago! They are like, so not cool!" said Professor Sprout. Draco got up from his seat and said," I'm telling my daddy!" And he ran out crying. (Now remember Draco fans, they're all drunk.) "Ok...Well next is Severus Snape." Snape got up and, to everyone's complete horror, began to strip. "I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love  
  
Love's going to leave me." He then proceeded to take off his shirt.   
  
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt  
  
So sexy it hurts  
  
And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan  
  
New York and Japan  
  
And I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party  
  
No way I'm disco dancing  
  
I'm a model, you know what I mean  
  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah  
  
I do my little turn on the catwalk." He then took off his pants, while the entire crowd adverted their eyes from the stage.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car  
  
Too sexy by far  
  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
  
Too sexy for my hat, what d'you think about that  
  
I'm a model, you know what I mean  
  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah  
  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk  
  
I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my."  
  
He, at that point in time, decided to take of his under-shirt. 'Cause I'm a model, you know what I mean  
  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
Yeah, on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, yeah  
  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk  
  
I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat  
  
Poor pussy, poor pussy cat  
  
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love  
  
Love's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song. As the last few chords of the song were played, Snape skipped outside in the snow, wearing only a thong. Needless to say, the Gryffindors were in terror, the Ravenclaws where laughing and whistling, The Slytherins were completely embarrassed, and the Hufflepuffs where peeking through their hands to see what would happen next. Then Snape came back inside, wearing nothing, proclaiming that he forgot his watch. He grabbed it and ran outside again. All in all, the students were most likely scarred for life. In unison, they all screamed a blood-curdling yell, and ran the entire distance back to Hogwarts, to hide under the covers of their four-poster beds. "Catch that all on tape Minerva?" asked Dumbledore. Yes Albus." She said as she shut the camera off. "Though, I must say. That was probably the strangest April-Fools joke I have ever witnessed in my life."Dumbledore simply smiled. "Oh, and how exactly DID you get Severus to strip in front of the school?" "That, Minerva, was actually not on my agenda for tonight. It was simply an extra piece of footage we were able to catch on tape." She laughed at the thought of Snapes face when he saw the footage. That reminded her, "Albus, when are you going to show the tape to the school?" "I'm thinking about doing that tomorrow evening." "Why not morning?" "I want to give them sometime to get over their hangovers." Each groaned at the thought of the bunch of grumpy teenagers they would have to deal with in the morning.  
  
"I think we should start heading back to the school, Minerva."  
  
And with that last sentence said, they left. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REVIEW! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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